My breakthrough moment - teaching myself to think like a speech therapist

Can't sleep so I'm just going to write.

I had somewhat of a breakthrough with Philip last Friday. He wanted to email his mom, which was great because sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get him to write. But once he started, I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say. He started out with some weather related words like Sunshine and dry but then had all these other adjectives mixed in like dirty, smooth, hard...I couldn't see where he was going with it. Everything I guessed or asked him was a dead end. For a while it seemed like he was just playing with me - throwing random words out there to fill time. I was getting a little frustrated because part of me knew that he was trying to say something and that it was meaningful to him and I just couldn't get it but the other part of me was like, what if he's just being lazy and running out the clock until you leave...? So there was this internal argument going on inside me. Fiiiinally, something clicked - I can't remember what it was- and I realized the general gist of what he was trying to communicate...that his mom had a lot of things going on this weekend and he hoped the weather would cooperate for her. So sweet.

The thing was, he had a lot to say. He was telling his mom to "splurge" ( really! His word, not mine! He used it from his school vocab page) on a blender at a yardsale. And he wanted it to be purple. And he wanted to talk about the tupperware party she was going to be holding. The problem was, ( and it was a good problem!) he would throw out words all over the place about things ( yardsaling, weather, tupperware party) and I'd be jumping back and forth, trying to sort out which thing he was talking about. Hard to form grammatically correct sentences when you're playing hopscotch amongst ideas.

And then, I had an "Aha!" moment. I'm not sure I'm computer savvy enough to make this analogy work but I'll try: because his brain is wired a little differently than most people's and he doesn't really think in sentences, I think writing for him is like trying to convert a certain kind of file into a program for which it hasn't been formatted. It doesn't work. Error messages pop up all over the place. The communication is blocked.

Suddenly, I had this mental image of what must be going on in his brain. I pictured a tangled skein of ideas, kind of like the cloud that follows the Peanuts character, Pigpen. Philip tries to grab hold of one of those threads of thought and disengage it from the rest, but it breaks off and he comes away with a single word. He goes back to get the rest of the first thought but instead he ends up coming away with a piece of another thought. And that's what we see on the Dynavox - words representing whole complex thoughts that are sometimes somewhat related, sometimes completely unrelated, sitting next to each other. I told Philip about this mental image I had of his writing process- not exactly in these words but basically the same idea- and said, "Is this what it's like for you?" His face lit up and he indicated a strong Yes. I said, " Does it help you to have me sorting out the different thoughts and helping you organize them?" Because, even though it might seem like a dumb question or even a leading question, I didn't want to assume and I needed to know. Again, he indicated an instant, strong Yes. I practically cried. To see the joy on his face - the joy of being understood - that made me realize that my life counts for something good.

It's so obvious now that I've had that mental breakthrough...like I've known it all along but now I understand it in a different way. Maybe I would have known it a lot sooner if I'd gone to school for speech therapy. Makes me want to go back to school again...

This kind of breakthrough doesn't happen often, and it doesn't really need to happen often - some days the mundane is fine- but when it does, it makes my heart sing and makes all the frustration melt away and EVERYTHING is worth that moment.

Walking Day

I would just plunge into the news of the day but it requires some background. I started writing about this a couple months ago, but never posted...

So here is part of what I wrote back in May.

Aiden is almost 17 months old now, and I am starting to really worry about the fact that he's not walking. Well, part of me is starting to worry. I know, I know. Lots of people assure me that it's okay, that he'll walk when he's ready. And I'm one of them. I have this weird dualistic nature where one part of me is okay with it and the other is wracked with a gnawing fear. I tell myself that it's because of his contented personality, because of the fact that he doesn't have older siblings to show him the way. Or maybe it's because he has a mother who is blogging about it, instead of leading him around the house with her index fingers.

I think it's also because he is an extremely cautious child. He gets this in strong doses from both his parents. I can't decide if that's a blessing or a curse. I think the blessing and the curse cancel each other out and just leave it a plain old thing. But I can't help but think, poor Aiden- doomed to a life of slow, methodical, careful circumspection. So, back to the walking thing: he navigates things very carefully. He's only had about three big boo-boos in his life. I think that, like his mother, any sort of change comes difficult to him. But it does worry me, this not walking thing. I hear about these wunderkind babes who leap from their parents arms at four months old and never look back, and my brow furrows. I resist my pediatricians suggestions to saddle him in a physical therapy program. Oh, please, says the common sense that I inherited from ALL my forebears. He can walk. He just doesn't want to. One of these days the walking gene will overtake him and he won't be able to escape. Right now he's slow developmentally ( he can crawl like a speed demon, so I wouldn't say he's really slow physically), but at least he's happy, and I don't want to foist my angsty timetable on him.

Now - here I am- in July again. I finally got the ball rolling looking into this program that my pediatrician recommended. It turns out that there is a real reason why he wasn't walking.
( Duh!) The physical therapist gave this diagnosis: "bilateral forefoot pronation with calcaneal valgus and tibial internal rotation." Which is, in layman's terms, the arches on his feet sort of slope and don't support his weight right and so he's unstable, which makes him hesitant to walk. The physical therapist recommended that he be fitted for leg braces which he will wear for a few months to help correct this problem. I am just so relieved to know the reason WHY he wasn't walking. We go to get him measured for his leg braces on Friday - coincidentally when he turns 19 months- and they should take a couple weeks to come. Then he will start physical therapy.

He did take his first steps on Father's Day about a month ago, but since then, I could count on one hand the number of times he has walked by himself...and that was only with much coaxing.... until today. This afternoon, I turned around and he was walking. All by himself, with no prompting. I was stunned! Thrilled! Flabbergasted in disbelief! And again, later, I caught him walking! It happened several times - seemed like every time I turned around, he was walking somewhere! It just makes me almost roll my eyes because I knew as soon as I addressed the problem and got him into the physical therapy program, he would just start walking on his own. Sure enough. Go figure! We will still get the braces to correct his feet and we'll do some physical therapy, but this has relieved me no end.

He gets up and toddles off and I follow him, just laughing. So many people have said, " Once he starts walking, you'll wish he wasn't!" Maybe, but I don't think so. I'm so, SO thankful. It's going to take some getting used to - seeing him walk upright!

Our vacation

As some of you saw by Brad's pictures on Facebook, we just had a very nice little vacation in North Georgia. And I have to say right now, thankyou Lieutenant Lynn, for encouraging Brad to take some time off. Without you, this vacation probably would not have happened. It was GREAT!

The vacation really started on Friday when we went to a Red Sox game with Nate and Penny. That was a whole ton of fun, despite the withering heat. The Red Sox won, of course. 4-1, including a homerun by Ortiz. A row of Braves fans behind us was commenting about his recent hitting slump and how since Manny's been gone, Ortiz is nothing b/c it's all about how the people around you are doing, and basically concluding that he's a has-been... and then he hits this beautiful home run and I just wanted to turn around and be like, "So, yeah...um...what were you just saying?" In your face, people! But I didn't. This game was made possible Aiden-free ( as much fun as having his sweaty, squirmy little 22 pounds on our laps would have been) by my parents who spent a very long evening with him at our house. Thanks, folks!

After a leisurely Saturday morning, we set out for the north country. We were a little like Abraham, going out not knowing exactly where we were going...( just the general direction) ... flying by the seats of our respective pants and skirts. We did a lot of exploring and scouting of scenic vistas in such places as the Chattahoochee National Forest before settling in a nice little town close to the North Carolina border.

Over the course of this vacation we spent a few hours in the charming but tourist trappy town of Helen - a.k.a. "Alpine Helen"- in various Bavarian wannabe shops and such...including a charming model train place, where Aiden was captivated by all the choo-choos. We also consumed some fine German comestibles and found that Aiden likes sauerkraut. At least, he didn't spit it out.

But my favorite spots were natural ones such as "Brasstown Bald" - the highest point in Georgia. On our way up, we saw a bobcat crossing the road. No kidding. From the observation deck at the top of the mountain you can see four different states. Well, at least you can when it isn't so hazy. But the weather was gorgeous! It felt positively New England-ish, which was a welcome change from the hotter-than-Hades temperatures in the valley and we were told that, in fact, because of its elevation, the mountain has its own unique weather system which resembles Massachusetts rather than Georgia. We even did a little hiking.

Another favorite spot, on the other side of the Chattahoochie National Forest, was the Anna Ruby Falls. Ah, waterfall mist. Phew. Very refreshing on a humid day after the little hike it took to get up there.

And we just loved driving around on back roads and eating up the Appalachian mountain scenery and exploring little podunk towns. This is what we like to do. It feeds our souls.

We even drove by Lake Burton and I gave a shout-out to Laura Brown's mother.

Also, many thanks to Penny and Nate and Mom and Dad P., for their management of the Grampa aspect of things which allowed us to get away. In our case, it takes a village to get a vacation!

Now we are home again, home again, jiggety jog.