Friday, August 05, 2005

Slaughter of the Eggs

Well, we didn't end up going to Rye Beach after all. There were thunderstorms predicted so we went to a local lake so that if it rained ( which it did, a bit) we could hop in the vans and come home (which we did, but not before several hours of fun in de sun). I was secretly THRILLED not to go to Rye Beach, and not just because it would resurrect disturbing memories of the class trip when Sarah and I scampered away from the group to go have a private swim, only to be followed by a jogging Chad ( as opposed to a hanging Chad or a dimpled Chad), who had apparently not been warned that he was trespassing into the women's bathing area. His amused classmates, however, watched from afar wondering at his nerve. Fortunately, no harm came to anyone as Sarah and I 'sank beneath the rippling waves' for a time, times and half a time...No, I'm sure I couldn't have held my breath for that long...so it was probably shorter than that... BUT I DIGRESS!

ANYWAY- the REAL reason I was thrilled not to go to Rye Beach is because it's a blooming TWO HOUR DRIVE away and those of you who know me know I don't go in very big for long car rides/drives...and I honestly was not hyped about spending that much time in a van listening to hip-hop muzak.

In addition to digging potatoes on Monday, I have also been playing the farm-girl at home. Our landlords are away on an 11 day sojourn to Oregon and we are helping out with the animals in their absence. My duties involve emptying the sheep's water ( I have contrived a way to do this without entering the pasture, tricky me) and refilling it, of course, watering the garden ( I KNOW that isn't an animal...), feeding and watering the chickens and geese ( a wild, female wood duck has joined their ranks!), caring for their German Shepherd ( named "Shep", surprisingly enough), AND...dun dun DUUUUUN...COLLECTING EGGS! This is an exciting first for me.

I ventured into yon chicken house recently and gathered eggs. I was sort of awed to find that they come in different colors besides brown and white! A couple that I gathered were actually GREENISH! Up until today I had gathered about eight...and I already had almost a dozen from the store in the fridge. ( Sarah said I could keep as many as I wanted.) So I didn't think I really needed many more...and decided to follow Sarah's instructions on what to do with surplus eggs. Are you ready for this? She said to THROW THE EGGS ON THE GROUND AND BREAK THEM...and the chickens would come and EAT THEM! So, I collected the six doomed little eggs in the one little berth in the chicken house that seems to be the favored laying spot ( I haven't found any eggs in any other place except this one little box) and feeling rather strange, I stepped out into the yard...and the chickens seemed to know what was coming because they all started clustering around me. I threw down the first egg...and it just bounced and rolled! It happened with the next egg too! These farm eggs are tough! I succeeded in breaking some of the eggs, and it was HORRIFYING and DISGUSTING to see how the chickens would go wild to get at them. Well I pursued the tough eggs and, feeling rather like Moses throwing down the ten commandments, I hurled them to the earth again...and again. I bet Moses didn't even have to try as hard with his tablets. I lost one in the woods and succeeded with the other. I felt rather cruel and weird, but hey, I'm just following orders. Sarah said it was a great way to recycle the eggs. Whatever. Their yolks are on her head. Figuratively, of course.

AAAHHH! "Soylent Green is... People!"

( I don't really know how that last comment applies exactly as I know the analogy is far from perfect but I felt moved to mention it, as I think there is some vague connection there.)

9 comments:

Tanya said...

Thanks Claire for stopping by. I actually found your blog earlier today when I was clicking on the "next blog" button. Strange hey?

DJ said...

I think the Soylent green quote is perfect. Not actually having seen the movie[i think if movie has Rutger Hauer in it, something must be wrong] I do know the general gist. Whoohoo for knowledge :)

Claire said...

But it has Charlton Heston in it too so it can't be THAT bad! I watched it in ninth grade science class @ Goffstown High. Three cheers for public education!

ljmax said...

Wow--access to fresh eggs! Do you get to keep any?

TripleNine said...

Wow, cannabalistic chickens, who knew? As for the quote, being homeschooled it is lost on me.

Claire said...

As for eggs: Yep- I have about seven in my fridge at the moment.

Wesley- go out and rent the movie: "Soylent Green." Or maybe it is spelled Soilent...I don't know...

melbrown said...

Your landlords probably coated those feisty eggs in rubber and are laughing hysterically at the other end of their hidden cameras. ("Shep? Are you in this closet...?")

redsoxwinthisyear said...

I may be making this up, but I seem to have some vague memories of the bathing incident. Here is my take...

I felt like taking a run down the beach. What better place to do a Chariots of Fire imitation? The setting was perfect. But what was this? What strange shapes in the ocean next to me as I ran? It dawned on me that I had stumbled upon something I was not meant to. Attempting to preserve some sense of decorum, I did my best to ignore the bathers, trying to let them think I was oblivious to their secret ablutions. Apparently it worked, and I was able to save face a little bit. Ok, maybe not...

Loreo said...

Claire, that's really neat to get to take care of the animals! I don't think I could bring myself to throw out the eggs. I'd be making deviled eggs or something. Who knew eggs were so tough out in the sticks or that chickens were little monsters!