Sunday, October 22, 2006

Biting is Bad

Sometimes I feel like an evil god.

Let me explain.

You know how some misguided people have this warped view of God as an old meanie who is sitting up in heaven, waiting until you do something wrong so he can zap you with lightning? Well, if I was God, I think that's what I'd be like. Except instead of bolts of lightning, it would be water. Case in point: Stan. He goes into biting mode or scratching mode and I reach for the spray bottle. He hasn't actually bitten me yet ( at least not today), but I know he wants to- he's GOING TO- so I sit poised, the bottle in my hand, my finger on the spray trigger...just waiting...and in fact, HOPING, that he will try to bite me, so I can teach him a lesson. Those of you who are seasoned cat owners are probably rolling your eyes, thinking I'm way too uptight, and scarily vengeful, and what a lot I have to learn. Well, he has to be trained sometime!

It's a good thing I'm NOT God, eh?

The problem is, what I think of as "biting," is merely harmless, jolly gnawing to Brad. Last night, he was sitting at the computer, holding Stan ( a feat in and of itself as he is wont to climb on the keyboard- Stan, not Brad) and his fingers were in Stan's mouth! I grabbed the spray bottle and gave a hearty blast, but at the last second, Brad's arm moved in the way and the next thing I know he's looking at me with a bewildered face, saying, "Why did you just spray me?" We NEED to be a united front! What is not acceptable to one parent must be unacceptable to the other! I guess we need to talk about the definition of "biting." I guess that's the difference between the seasoned pet owner and the first time pet owner.


Mrs. RF said...

Chuckle! He is so cute!!! (and if Stan thinks like Max does, the spray bottle means..."ok, they want me to do that, so that I can get sprayed with this lovely water, how nice of them. I will keep doing that, just to please them.")

St. Busta Chop IV said...


Bolts of Porkchops from ABOVE!!!


St. Busta Chop IV said...

oh wait, those might not work so well on a cat.

Ok, those were for YOU then![waste not, want not after all]

Amy said...

As long as it's taken me to click hit the comments button and type this I've been laughing. This sounds SO familiar!! I do things one way with June and Russell does another. Like feeding her from one's own plate. I am not a fan of that. Russell, on the other hand, doesn't see the harm in sharing his meal tidbit by tidbit. Now June lays her head on your knee while you're eating. Cute, but not what I had in mind for my would-be well behaved dog. :)

I think it's good to have a pet together before having kids. Work out all (or at least a few) of the kinks before being responsible for the upbringing of another person. :D

Amy said...

And that is an adorable picture of Stan!!

lis said...

Oh Claire, I love you! Funny and clever as usual. :O)

TripleNine said...

hahahaha. I must say, I'm glad you're not God either Claire :)

I've noticed the same thing with Lindsay's cats. What's biting to her is just playing to me.

Even though Brad doesn't climb on the keyboard, I bet he perches on his chair :)

And Ditto to Amy, it is a great picture.

Anonymous said...

Kittens bite like crazy, but they really do grow out of it. Tugger used to bite us all the time when he was a kitten, but that stopped when he was about a year old.