Tuesday, October 09, 2007

My confession

I seem to have hit a dry patch, writing-wise. Life sort of lopes along in a somewhat comfortable routine and I am lulled into a happy little stupor. A stupor punctuated by moments of alternating terror and unbelievable, joyous impatience as I contemplate the life-changing earthquake which looms upon the December horizon. A stupor punctuated by my extreme struggles to try to eat healthily - something which lately, I have been failing at miserably. Each evening is like New Year's Eve - I make a resolution and the next day, I start out successfully until, on a good day, about 8:00 in the evening, and on a bad day, early afternoon.

Today, my downfall was candy corn. I love candy corn. It's one of the great joys of autumn, one of the great redemptors of the Halloween season. ( How else could I put up with the ghoulish and tacky decorations in my neighborhood? Please! Bushes adorned with huge cotton spiderwebs which could only have been spun by Shelob herself? There should be a LAW!) On my way to work, I went into an unfamiliar Kroger in search of a branch of my bank, which did not appear ( but to be fair, several other Krogers I have visited have this bank in it so it wasn't a totally random venture), and I ended up walking out with a supply of candy corn in my hand. WHAT?! Yes- this equation makes complete sense in my world: I find no bank in the grocery store = I must buy candy corn. Can you not see the logic? I must have some reward for walking into the store. How the used-to-be-skinny have fallen.

Now please don't email me and tell me that I have to be careful because of the baby. I KNOW THIS. I am guilt ridden every time I eat ANYTHING besides my home-made granola and yogurt and fruit and wheat germ. And brussel sprouts and broccoli and salad. ( But I don't blend all those things together.) The guilt is almost enough to destroy my sweet pleasure and keep me on the straight and narrow. And I've been pretty careful about a lot of things - like sugary soda and caffeinated stuff etc. - even though occasionally I CRAVE a carbonated beverage. ( One time I was really in a stupor and started drinking Dr. Pepper and Brad looked at me like I'd lost it because I denied that there was any caffeine in it. Um. Yeah. ) And most times, my strong frugality forbids me from spending money on frivolous, junk-food items. But I have noticed a particular weakness in the past few days. So I am writing this, in part, to keep myself accountable. Maybe I should force myself to post what I eat every day and that way I won't be so prone to buy things like Edy's icecream and Cheetos ( and hide them away so Brad won't reprimand me or partake of them. Ohhhh...the truth comes out. Humiliaaaaaaaation.)...I don't know. That sounds pretty drastic. ( NO I don't eat them TOGETHER! EW! Icecream and Cheetos??!!) Yes, Brad- look closely in the freezer and you will find the Edy's. It's where the oatmeal used to be. In the door. Not that you were probably ever aware of the oatmeal in the freezer...( He already found out about the sin of the Cheetos the other day.)

Sigh. I used to think that when I got pregnant, I would go organic and be a total health nut. But, horrifyingly, it's been the exact opposite recently. I feel bad. To make up for it, I'm going to feed this child a good healthy diet of spinach and brussel sprouts until he turns eighteen. Organic? Well, so far, the only organic thing I've bought has been eggs. And they're wicked expensive!

Ooooooh- that reminds me: egg-nog season is almost upon us. Woe is me.

10 comments:

KJ said...

I don't know how to react: Should I laugh (heeheehee!) or should I sing ("Poooor, pooooor, pititfuuuul youuuu!")? Either way I add: Blessings on you!!

Mrs. RF said...

Hmm...candy corn and Cheetos, and ice cream. Sounds like the basic food groups to me -Corn is a vegie isn't it, so that qualifies ;-), cheetos must have cheese- that is dairy. Ice cream would have eggs and milk. Good dairy and protein. Sounds justifiable to me. (Can't you tell I will be such a good grandma...I will be able to justify almost any snack.)

drewey fern said...

Oh how I love you! There are so many favorite parts in this post... I think what takes the cake (eeek! no cake! I mean "takes the garbonzo beans") is the bit where you tell Brad where the ice cream is:)

Claire said...

Mmmmmm....garbanzo beeeeeans....

redsoxwinthisyear said...

Several thoughts here:
1. I pity the child who is forced to eat organic his entire childhood. And I pity the pocketbook that pays for such extravagance. I say bring on the artificial hormones! Don't you want him to play basketball?? Was wrong with a little extra something in the food to make him tall(er)?

2. Since when are pregnant women supposed to keep away from sweets? Is this some new health craze about which I'm unaware? Whatever happened to pregnant women craving ice cream and pickles, and eating both (perhaps even at the same time), and it not being a big deal? As long as you lay off the cigarettes while pregnant, I think your kid will be fine. Then again, I'm not the doctor...

3. Your logic about buying candy corn belies Aristotle's floating womb theory. (I'm currently obsessed with this idea, not because I believe it, but because I think it is fascinating, so I am using any and every opportunity I get to talk about it.) Pregnancy, after all, is supposed to anchor the womb, and prevent the violent mood swings and irrational behavior of women, which occurs when the womb is uninhabited and left to float around the body. So says Aristotle...

Claire said...

Belies indeed! Pregnancy? Prevent violent mood swings and irrational behavior? WHAT?!

Very funny. I didn't know Aristotle was such a wit.

Shari said...

Oh, you KNOW I'm laughing at this post, since I just went through the same thing recently. Although, strangely enough, my pregnancy now seems like ages ago. I'm sure you'll experience the same thing. Our babies grow so fast that each month seems like a year.

I had an unbelievable craving for citrus in my fifth and sixth month, so I ate tons of oranges. And every time we went out, I had lemonade. I especially loved the super strong, super tart/sweet kind. Then I found out I had gestational diabetes and I couldn't even eat oranges anymore. It was horrible. But I controlled the diabetes with diet (many women have to go on insulin because they can't handle the diet), and I'm proud of myself for that. But it was soooo hard. I did try to eat mainly organic, lots of veggies and fish, but hello? No oranges?? I was pretty angry for those first two weeks and then I realized that I was learning many valuable things about proteins and carbs.

So hang in there! The baby will be fine. Our culture's relatively recent obsession over every little thing during pregnancy is a bit ridiculous. Our mothers didn't pay attention to ANY of that stuff, and we turned out just fine. It was hard for me to not feel guilty and obsessed, but now that I have hindsight, I wish I had relaxed more during my pregnancy. You'll do great. And your baby will be great. :-)

gretchen said...

Reminds me of one of my favorite OBGYN's referring to a well-known pregnancy book, saying how it made her think her baby would be born with two heads if she so much as ate an ice cream sandwich.

FEAR NOT!!!

Claire said...

Thanks, all, for your validating/sympathetic words...And, Redsoxwinthisyear ( which they just might!), I was just perusing your comment again and had to chuckle over the way you said, "...just lay off the cigarettes..." as if I am some kind of chain smoker!

redsoxwinthisyear said...

Yeah, I thought my advice about putting aside your smoking habit would be helpful...