Monday, August 31, 2009

"Bones" on the brain

Sometimes I kill an ant or two on the counter - I'm not as scrupulous as I should be when it comes to crumbs- and I hope that I'm getting the scout ant. The one who forages for food, leaving a scent trail for his confederates to follow. I can kill the ant and clean up the food and hopefully disrupt whatever strange path of ant markers that have been laid down, but as I do so, I wonder about the ant's friends. Do they send out search parties and detectives? Do they have forensic ants, CSI ants? Do they discover trace amounts of the remains of their fallen colleague and reconstruct the events that led to his tragic demise? "He discovered the banana bread crumbs, temptingly buttered...here. Sigh. Carbs were always his weakness, the greedy wretch. He was carrying a sample past the sink...here...when he was crushed by a giant hand and swept over the edge into the garbage disposal..." Here the detective ant pauses, struggles to keep his emotions in check, fighting the overwhelming ghastliness of it all. The detective ants' assistant pats his thorax sympathetically, as they continue with the gruesome post-mortem report.

5 comments:

Aaron said...

Haha! I love this post. I laughed right out loud, especially at the last sentence. So creative and amusing! :)

subtitledlife said...

Wahahaha.

lis said...

SO clever!

the Joneses said...

I love how the assistant "pats his thorax sympathetically."

-- SJ

drewey fern said...

Hee hee hee - LOVE IT!