Okay. I had a very unsettling experience last night and I'm still not really calm, nor have I returned to normal yet. This is the second strange occurance that I've had with an eyeball this month. So those of you who are like me, with an aversion to eye stories- beware.
I was sitting around, relaxing in the evening, and my right eye itched. So I rubbed it. It itched more. I rubbed it more. For a while. It started to hurt. Up until this point, it was sort of an unconscious, absent- minded incident. I started to get a little annoyed. I got up and went into the bathroom and took out my contact, and I think I rubbed my eye a little more. It's all sort of a blur in my mind at this point. My eyelid started to swell up. I started getting scared and moaning. I cupped my hand, filled it with water and rinsed my eyeball repeatedly. My eyelid got bigger and bigger. It felt very strange. I started to freak out.
Brad didn't know what to do with me, poor thing. He helped me find a phone number to call a nurse. I resisted calling but eventually, I called the nurse help line, fighting panic, and trying not to cry on the phone... and after a little chat, she said I should see a doctor in the next twenty four hours. WHAT? No way am I going to go to a doctor on Christmas Eve! But I didn't tell her this. I was in very deep distress. She told me all sorts of stuff like, wash your hands a lot etc. WHAT? I'm already bordering on OCD with the whole washing of the hands thing. This freaked me out MORE. Even now as I write, my stomach is tensing up thinking about it. She said the doctor might prescribe some anti-biotic drops for me. YECH! What good would THAT do? I don't think I have an infection - I just irritated the daylights out of my eye. She said something about not sharing eye cosmetics! WHAT? Who do you think I am- some ignorant thirteen year old waif from the fourteenth century?? First of all, wearing ANY kind of eye makeup is just tempting fate. For Pete's sake, it's practically an invitation to fate, asking for something to make you cry and then you look all gooky and horrifying. Second of all, SHARING it? *shudder*
My eye looked like it was a Chernobyl survivor who had just gotten beaten up. ( Not me- just my right eye.) I could hardly see out of it. It was tearing up and everything. Gross. So I went to bed, hoping that it would clear up on its own. I slept in this morning...Every time I thought about waking up, I said to myself, " No- give the eye a little more time to rest." I didn't want to get up and look at it. But I did eventually. It looks a little better. Now I just look semi-freakish. It kinda feels like my eye got bathed in a small vat of egg white.
I hate wearing my glasses all the time- they are not up to my current prescription so I can't see very well...and this makes me feel enfeebled. The problem is, I haven't delivered my Christmas fudge gifts to all my neighbors yet- two of them were gone last night. NO WAY do I want to show up at their doors looking like this. Hi! Merry Christmas from your scarily deformed neighbor!
Now I'm trying to figure out if I have permanently ruined my right eye. I keep closing one eye, and looking at something with the other and then switching and trying to evaluate whether I can see better with my left than my right. The problem is, I can't remember which was the stronger eye BEFORE this happened. My Christmas is teetering on the brink of ruin. Christmas 2005- the Christmas of My Maiming.
Brad said something really comforting like, "You can make it on just one eye. Your depth perception will be all thrown off but..." I practically threw something at him. You know how they say that women marry men like their fathers? Uh huh. That's just like something Daddy would say, in a vain effort to try to cheer me up. " Yeah- so you lose an eye? No big deal. You'll just lurch around and never be the same." We'll see. Ahhhhrrgh! No pun intended!