Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Great Escape

Call me a bad wife, but I don't make Brad's lunch. The thing is, I offered once or twice before, but he said no because of some technicality or something. Like there was no fridge at work, or there was no room in the fridge or ...whatever. I think at one point he told me I didn't ever have to make lunch for him. Plus, he's like a food camel; give him a powerbar and he's good for most of the day. Whereas me, I'd be dragging myself around with a headache and getting super grumpy if all I had to eat was a powerbar. Power, shmower. But I digress.

Last night as I made my lunch, I asked Brad again if he wanted me to make lunch for him, and he said yes! So I made him a sandwich, and put it beside a yogurt in the fridge, and put some crackers and an apple in a bag on the counter.

At about 11:00 last night, as I was drifting into pleasant slumber, I heard one of those classic bumps in the night. Immediately, I was wide awake, picturing burglars climbing in one of the kitchen windows...So I had to go down and investigate. Pretty dumb. No gun, no baseball bat or anything. Just lil ol' me...versus a vicious piece of fruit. Turns out, Brad's apple had somehow escaped the bag and rolled off the counter onto the floor. The apple took about three hours to work its way out of the bag in a vain bid for its freedom. ( When I told him later, Brad was like, "You HEARD an APPLE fall on the floor DOWNSTAIRS?" Yes. Yes, I did. Above the noise of the sleep machine, too. Well, it was a hefty apple.) But how did this happen? It remains a mystery to this day.

Brad and I were talking on the phone today and I asked him about his lunch. To make a long story short, he cringingly confessed that he ate the sandwich and the crackers...FOR BREAKFAST! What? What??! Sigh. The nocturnal, troublemaking apple, however, he did not touch. I don't know if he noticed the yogurt. Not sure if this Good Wife Making the Lunch Routine is going to last much longer.

12 comments:

Aaron S. said...

As we used to say in our house, "It was probably Mr. Nobody." :)

Claire said...

To be precise ( to quote the twins Thompson and Thomson), Brad didn't exactly say, "Yes" to my offer of making lunch for him. He said, "If you want to..." or " If you feel like it..." The Good Wife Instinct just took over from there...an instinct that I will be wary of in the future!

Avalanche Cowpoke said...

Hmmm... ...just how long does it take for an apple to become static in its growing power after it is picked??? ...does it ever stop? I'm wondering, of course, how fast an apple moves when it grows or begins to decay... ...Ol' 'Lanche sez he'll eat 'em but not in too advanced a state of decay... 8~)

ljmax said...

Wow! I am missing that good wife instinct, I think!

maldrich said...

I love the "if you want to" comment, because it leaves them off the hook. We get guilty and make the lunch and slave away and then they don't have to be super grateful and fall all over themselves about how great we are because we did it for ourselves anyway. Alas!

Claire said...

Hmmm, I think you're right, maldrich...it's more of a guilt thing than a good wife instinct thing...So, don't worry, Ljmax- you just don't have guilt! And that's a good thing!

Shari said...

Maybe there's a worm in the apple and his name is Herman. Herman wanted to get out of that darn apple so he made little vibrations with his lil' worm body until it moved centimeter by centimeter. Poor Herman! Let him out!

Just a thought.

Ewww, if Brad bit into it and there WAS a worm.

I don't know if I've ever made Brent's lunch. In 15 years. Does that make me a bad wife? LOL!

Claire said...

Shari, I LOVED the story about Herman the worm! You have a great imagination.

And as far as not making Brent's lunch for fifteen years, " There is therefore now no condemnation...!" I think the Good/Bad Wife is a myth.

Kristi said...

Ha ha! What a good story! And funny you mentioned your "sleep machine" -- I was just remembering that yesterday or today and wondering if you still used it. I guess it's a permanent fixture. ;-)

Shari said...

LOL . . . I think I'm a good wife in other ways. Just not in the lunch-making way. I don't think he wants me to make his lunch anyway. I definitely would if he wanted me to.

Thanks for loving the Herman story. LOL. :-) Did anyone end up eating the apple yet?

Amy said...

I've made Russell lunch before, but none of his friends bring their lunch from home. So he didn't want to be the uncool kid with the brown paper bag when everybody else got to buy their lunch. :D

Cheech said...

I have never eaten a worm (but i still eat apples).YumYum! Apples arent supposed roll.