Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Waiting...

Here I am, procrastinating yet again. I should be filling out a job application that I just printed out...but no...instead I am satiating the urge to blog.

It's rather a depressing thing to think that I am still unemployed. Yes, I did temp work this summer...but...as August gave way to September, and my little interview with Mr Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor himself, was fruitless ( thank God) ... I have a renewed sense that the time gaps in my resume are growing. Rarrgh. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the time off and basking in the freedom to do unusual things. For instance, yesterday I spent a second day volunteering at the setup of a traveling exhibit called, " From Abraham to Jesus." Lisa A. alerted a bunch of us to this opportunity and last Tuesday a carload of us traveled up to the heart of Atlanta and did some serious, heavy work helping to set up the maze of pillars and panels through which people will walk to view the art and artifacts. Muscles were sore afterward. We didn't actually do the construction itself ( it was a horribly huge task...the kind of thing that is like a Christmas Eve assembly nightmare: " Insert flange B into slot A, using Object C..." except with objects that are hundreds of pounds); we just assisted in moving materials to the appropriate places...

ANYWAY- yesterday Lisa and I went back to help again. My main job for the day was helping to set up the gift shop in the form of a bazaar. There are some interesting folks there, and I overheard a lot of Hebrew being spoken. One Israeli man asked how I had gotten there: "By bus?" I said that I had driven myself and he said he thought I didn't look old enough to drive. "I thought you were fifteen!" He almost reeled in disbelief when I told him I was twenty eight.

And my friend Sarah C ( used to be Sarah L...), flew in on Sunday night for a conference and was staying at a hotel just a couple of blocks down the street from where I was volunteering yesterday. SO! I met her for lunch AND dinner! We had such a great time catching up. Her room is on the 63rd floor in the tallest building in Atlanta; one entire wall of her room was a giant window and her view was breathtaking. I could have sat there all night just watching all the lights. We even rode the glass elevator up to the revolving restaurant at the top of the building where there was a little inside observation deck; you could walk around and look out at the whole city spread out below you. Coooooool!

Anyway- it's times like that when I am grateful for the fact that I am not working. Then I look forward to the future and it's a total blank; I get a little freaked out. But after a year of looking for a job, it gets harder and harder to psyche yourself up to keep looking. It's like the opposite of a perpetual motion machine. You have to fight a downward spiral of inertia and pessimism. You go to the same web-sites and papers and job-recruitment things and it's like having a nasty recurring dream. And you can't find the will to fill out another application because you're sure it's going to be a waste of time, ink, and energy. And so you blog.

It helps me to remember a little talk that my friend Lindsay and I had recently. She reminded me that everyone has times of waiting in their lives. Waiting for different things to happen- waiting to find your soul-mate, waiting for God to answer your prayers, waiting for a child, waiting for the right job opportunity, waiting for healing, waiting for your dreams to come true... Sometimes it seems that half our lives are spent waiting. But that's okay. Because as another friend, Alison, often says, " That's the way it's supposed to be."

11 comments:

DJ said...

One day, all our waiting will be DONE! I am so looking forward to that time :-)

Claire said...

Yep, Deej, all our waiting will be done...when we're DEAD! Is that what you're talking about?

Linds said...

That was a cherished time of chatting!
LOVE YOU!

Kristi said...

Amen to the waiting bit!

Amy said...

I love when people misjudge my age by over a decade. Well, actually, that's never happened to me. But they have been off by 7 years before, and that's almost as good. hehe Cherish the moment!! :D

And it was good for me to read that part about waiting. It does feel like I've spent most of my life waiting for whatever's supposed to happen to, well, happen. And I always remind myself that the waiting is part of The Higher Plan, but that doesn't necessarily make it easier. :) Of course, then there are the times that I look back and realize that all my waiting was actually something happening and I missed it because I was looking the other way... :)

lis said...

Hee hee! Claire, I can tell by your response to DJ that you have experience w-a-i-t-i-n-g! :O)

It helps to know that even if waiting is a rather solitary pastime (pun intended!), still there are a lot of other people doing it at the same time.

DJ said...

yes, that IS what I was referring to :-)

Loreo said...

Hey, Claire, what have you gone to school for? What kinds of jobs are you looking for? Maybe you could do a weekly column at your local newspaper. Our paper even has a small column they pick up written by a conservative, gardening, big family Amish lady!!

TripleNine said...

Even though you don't get paid to volunteer, it is still a great opportunity for lots of different things. Meeting people, outreach, extra stuff on your resume, etc... I'de say do as much as you can while you can. Especially at such a great sounding place as that exhibit :)

outerdock said...

is that the exhibit that also had thomas kinkade paintings? i heard about it on the radio and wondered what it would be like to wander among ancient pottery and doodads ... and cozy, candlelit cottages nestled by rivers.

you are such an adventurous woman!
-clarissa

Amy said...

The fire was in the northeast side of town and I live in the northwest. And I actually didn't know about it until I read your note on my blog. I leave town for a few days and disaster strikes!

I looked up the article on the local newspaper's site...I was shocked to see that multiple people died. There was an apartment fire a couple years ago that took a whole building, but they were able to get everyone out. That case turned out to be arson committed by the owner of the apartments. Hopefully this will be an accident.