Monday, April 30, 2007

THAT feeling...

So you know the feeling you have when you have a face to face conversation at your front door with someone who you don't usually talk to - like the neighbor you only see once every three months who automatically makes you feel nervous and ugly- and you're trying to think about the dinner you are in the middle of making and trying not to look scragglier and paler and mousier and frumpier than usual and you are wondering if she is really insulting you in a super subtle way or if you're just being paranoid, and you realize that all this nervousness is making you say things that make NO SENSE...and it's the same kind of feeling you get when you are taking an exam and you're not really sure about an essay question but you have to write about it anyway so you decide to "snow"( and desperately hope that by some miracle, something you say might be relevant) ... And you're thinking, ' Surely she must see through this and think I am a total idiot...' and you are screaming inwardly, " JUST GO AWAY and let me cook my salmon cakes in PEACE! " because you know, know, KNOOOOOW that soon, even now at this moment that you are thinking it, but also later, you are going to be squirming inwardly at the memory of the stupid, awkward, stilted things you said ... and sure enough, now it is later and you are wanting to run around the room and experience a whole body/soul/spirit shudder, complete with flailing of arms and general screeching to cleanse/exorcise/free yourself of that awful inner cringe....

...you know that feeling?

WELL...

...I had that feeling recently.

I don't know why certain people have the power to make me feel this way. It truly boggles me.

10 comments:

Kristi said...

Sooooo...did something bad happen or did you just get that feeling randomly?? I was waiting for some juicy story of an evil neighbor chewing you out sweetly over something imaginary.

ljmax said...

What was your nosy neighbor bugging you about anyway? Your nosy sister needs to know.

kw said...

Yeah, what was it? Just turn on some fake southern charm right back.

Claire said...

Oh- very mundane stuff - but then she asked how we were doing and I made the mistake of actually talking instead of saying "fine-thanks-bye"...

drewey fern said...

Claire I LOVE you! Well expressed. It practically made me squirm vicariously. Grrr perfect people. But no matter how perfect a neighbor can look, she could never make YOU look 'mousy.' Remember, you were the prettiest girl in Bible School in my opinion!

Laughter said...

Holy cow, it's the sentance that never ends! It's even got ellipsis at the end and everything.

Take a deep breath, Claire, and remember that it's highly likely your neighbor has felt "that feeling" before on one level or another. One never knows...

:-)

Shari said...

Oh, I know EXACTLY what you mean. You described that feeling oh-so-well.

Amy said...

Oooh, I hate that feeling. Two doors up the street there's a perfect house. It's yellow with gorgeous, perfect landscaping, 2 cute kids, new bouncy puppy, minivan, stay at home mom... The kids come by at fundraiser time and I always buy stuff, even if I don't want it, because I feel that way when talking to the mom. Intimidated by her, "Don't you just love to landscape??" Um, look around you. No. At least they can't get their puppy to walk on a leash. ;)

Craisin white chocolate chip cookies?!?! Those sound AMAZING!! Whenever we eat at Subway I always get the meal deal and substitute 2 white chocolate macadamia nut cookies for my chips. Who wants chips when you can have delicious cookies instead? :)

Amy said...

Luckily we're in the very northeast corner of Kansas...less than an hour west of Kansas City. We had some dark, scary looking clouds, but no severe weather. We're actually under a tornado watch right now (which is the "favorable conditions, stay tuned" warning rather than the "tornado is going to happen" version).

It must be spring in Kansas.

Amy said...

I like the new headline...picture...thing! Wholesome goodness...that really is the picture I have of you. Don't tell me if it's not true. ;)