Tomorrow morning I go in for an ultrasound and, if the baby allows, we will find out whether we are having a boy or a girl! I can NOT TELL YOU how excited I am. I feel almost sort of nervous!
We both started out hoping that it would be a boy...My reason was that I suspect in the long run, there is less over-all drama with a boy. I'm just thinking about those awkward, uncomfortable years between the ages of 10 and 20 when life is a huge, confusing, heartbreaking mess...and I know what that is like as a girl...and I cringe to think of watching my own flesh and blood go through that. I know from my own experience, that it had its wonderful moments and it also had its deep valleys. It seems like boys don't have such drastic, crushing emotional valleys. However, the idea of a girl has been growing on me. After reading Brandon's post about how boys just want to rough-house and girls are more sedate and contemplative, I think maybe I'd like to start out with a girl. Ease myself into the whole thing. And the other day I said to Brad that I wanted to have a girl so that I could watch Anne of Green Gables with her...I suppose I could watch it with a boy too...but I don't think it would quite be the same.
I was thinking last night how I am the third girl in a row in my family and I'm SURE my parents were hoping I was going to be a boy. But I'm glad I wasn't a boy. I like my life and I am happy to be who I am, in spite of all those gawky, ugly, insecure, drama years. So who am I to be prejudiced towards boys?
So I guess what I'm saying is - I've been thinking about how this baby is not just a boy or a girl - this is a person. A person we love already - sight unseen. ( Well- okay, I've had one ultrasound already so technically I've "seen" him/her...but you know what I mean. And Brad wasn't with me last time...and I can't wait to watch him as he sees our baby on the screen tomorrow.) At this point, Brad and I are both at the stage where we will be happy either way - we just want to know SOMETHING about this person. ANYthing! And finding out the gender is where we get to start.
Further bulletins as events warrant.