Friday, November 02, 2007

Victory! ( Sort of...At least, halfway.)

After two days of agony, ( okay- not continuous agony...but repeated stretches) I finally got one ring off my swollen hand by using what I like to call The Pentecostal Vegetarian method...You know- hand in the air, clutching a bag of frozen vegetables - elevation and cold to reduce the swelling. That plus various slippery substances eventually got Grandma's engagement ring right up underneath my knuckle after an hour or so of gwunting and stwuggling ... and then I used dishsoap in a sink full of warm water...and even PAST my knuckle it STILL wouldn't come free - my stupid fat piggy was THAT bloated. MAN! I was so mad at my own flesh. I was making enough noise that it probably sounded like I was a pioneer woman in labor. My finger looked very scary - purple, white and mutilated...But fiiiiinally it came off. Oh my woooooord. I may never wear that lovely ring again.

I think Stan is a little freaked out at me tonight... He can't figure out why I've been walking around the house with my arm ( and sometimes both arms) in the air, carrying a frozen bag half filled with Bird's Eye Stirfry Vegetables, producing unearthly groans.

Now I just have my wedding band to go. But let's save that for another day. Sufficient unto today is the suffering thereof.

6 comments:

brilynne said...

Phewsh! I'm so glad you got the rings off! I had very vivid mental images of your poor mutilated fingers slowly and mercilessly being strangled by your rings. ugh. *breathes sigh of relief. This is the same girl who pictures what she will wear to the funeral if someone is late to their appointment...

Oh, and I laugh at the picture of you having fat fingers. Seems so unlike you and yet so jolly!

Amy said...

Maybe because it's so soon after Halloween, but I totally added zombie makeup to you when I pictured you wandering around the house with your arms in the air making terrible noises. Add in the pregnant belly and it gets pretty disturbing. (Not that pregnant bellies are disturbing, but imagining a pregnant lady as a zombie is, well, disturbing. Kind of like a 2-for-1 zombie special.)

Hm. Christmas needs to hurry up and get here...need to think warm, happy, cheery, zombie-free thoughts!

Anonymous said...

Claire, why use WARM water? Cold shrinks.......

claire said...

Well, anonymous, the night before I spent a good deal of time soaking my hand in a bowl of ice-water, which, if you've never done it, is an unforgettably unpleasant experience. It failed to produce results. It's been a while since I took physical science, but I wondered if this was because the ice water caused not only my hand to shrink, but the ring as well... I don't know. I could be WAY off on this. My ring is white gold if that helps anyone.

This time I figured freezing my hand with a bag of vegetables would be sufficient on the cold front. It was easier to focus the cold on the area in question rather than subjecting my whole hand to suffer. And then the warm water and dish-soap was just one more remedy that I found online...and at that point, warm felt good...and I needed SOMETHING that felt good.

claire said...

...and it worked!

Amy said...

The thing Russell and I are peering intently at/into is a really, really old sheller. You put things like dried corn on the cob in the top, turn the handle, and it strips off the dried kernels and spits out the naked cob. It also does walnuts, which is what we were so enthralled with. We dropped in buckets of walnuts straight from the tree, turned the crank, and out came walnuts in their inner shells. Because every nut needs 2 layers of protection, right?