Friday, January 16, 2009

Warning - Chai Berry Latte is EVIL

Words to the wise: When you go to Starbucks to indulge yourself and redeem your Christmas stocking gift card, don't be tempted by the strange reddish tea. Don't tell yourself, "You should try something new. Be adventurous. Go out on a limb. Order the Chai Berry Latte." Give me your ears, you simpletons. I beg of you: Do not do it. Be safe. Stay with the good old standbys...the cappuccino. The Caramel Macchiato. The White Chocolate Mocha. Do not associate with a strange new beverage; it is folly in liquid form.

This drink is loathsome. Be warned.

Do not look on the Chai Berry Latte when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly. At the last it bites like a serpent and stings like a viper...and just generally tastes horrible.

And above all, DON'T get a grande size of something you've never tried before! Stupid, stupid, stupid. *smacks forehead in disgust*

Fortunately, I did not spend all of the gift card. I went back today and got my old favorite - the white chocolate mocha- to reassure myself that Starbucks is still my friend. And it was gooood.

8 comments:

Shari said...

Yeah, some of their items are not good. But I do love love love a Marble Macchiato. It's chocolate and white chocolate with espresso and steamed milk. Mmmmmm.

the Joneses said...

"Folly in liquid form" is brilliant!

And I don't even GO to Starbucks, ha. We have a local coffee-shop chain, and I am fiercely loyal.

-- SJ

Brad said...

Claire brought it home and gave it to me. It was good. She is wrong.

Claire said...

Whaaaaat?! How come you didn't finish it then?! "Almost finished the whole thing", my foot. It wasn't even half empty when I discarded the hideous remains!

gretchen said...

Okay Claire, be honest: did you have that much of Proverbs memorized, or did you have to look it up to be sure you got it right?

Delightfully amusing : )

Claire said...

Mmmmyeah, Gretchen, you got me. I had to google it to get the wording right. *insert sheepish shrug here*

Carrie said...

Claire, next time you want to shake it up at Starbucks try the The Caramel Macchiato but ask for it "upside down". Trust me. It's good. And you sound really cool when you order it too. And if you are wearing Aiden in a sling and wearing Crocs (even in the winter) when you order it, you will be super cool!

Lori said...

got a good chuckle on the whole red wine/Proverbs analogy! :)