Idiot Turkeys

Okay- to put the whole Math Genius thing ( from the other day) in perspective, I overheard the girl I referred to in the last blog...and she was not sure about 2 + 3 equaling 5...so I had to question her diagnosis of me having a superior brain.

I have seen many a wild turkey by the side of the road as I have driven Route 9 to work in the last 10 months. Sometimes I have seen them crossing the road, but usually they do everything at a doddering, deliberate pace. Today I spied yet another member of that noble species which would have been our national bird if it was up to Ben Franklin. ( I THINK this is actually true.) Anyway, Mr. Gobbler seemed to be strutting away from the road in a westerly direction. As I approached him at the speed of somewhere between 55 and 60 mph, he did an about face and FLUNG himself with all possible speed towards me...or rather, at the spot I estimated that I would be in about three seconds. Fortunately, I was wrong. He launched into the air just as I passed him and I caught a glimpse of him in my rear view mirror sailing awkwardly across the highway. My adrenaline was roaring at about 100 mph. I thought for a second there that I was going to have to make a strange call to our State Farm Insurance agent about a collision with a 30 pound bird. I have never seen one of them fly. Short, fluttering hops maybe, but never a full fledged flight. It was weird...like he had reached the taking-off end of the runway, turned around and hurled himself into flight. It's just an unfortunate coincidence that his runway happened to intersect Route 9. The planning and zoning turkeys are going to hear about this one.