Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Hi, My Name is Clara and I'm Seventeen.

I stopped by Home Depot - or Home Despot as we call it around here- today to pick up some spray paint. No, I'm not getting into graffiti with all my spare time...I'm going to paint a dresser for the guest room, in preparation for an upcoming guest. Our good friend Diane R. is coming down to stay with us for her spring break next week! Hurray! We will try to provide nice weather and lots of fun. ANYWAY...nothing like having guests coming to provide a great incentive to finish up some projects around the house...

I was at the checkout buying these aforementioned cans of spray paint when the woman looked at me and asked, " How old are you?" I hesitated for an instant, trying to remember my age. Then I told her, "Twenty seven." She said she was trying to make sure I was over eighteen so I could buy spray paint! Apparently, certain kinds of paint are restricted from minors...I guess so they won't huff them or sniff them or some such nonsense. Good grief- the crazy laws we have to pass these days, just because some stupid kids thought it would be a good idea to get high off of paint. All because Eve ate the apple. Man! Anyway, she said that she thought I might be seventeen so she just had to make sure. I thought that was a mighty hoot. Reminded me of the time on the plane last year when I was seated in the emergency exit row and the flight attendant asked if I was over eighteen. Oh my word. I suppose I should feel vastly complimented. Sigh. I guess.

Earlier today, I was in another store and the lady asked my name. I said, "Claire" as plain as day...and she was like, " Carol?" And I said, " CLAIRE." And she was like, " Oh! Clara!" I did NOT leave an A on the end of it- I don't know WHERE she got it. I just let it slide. I figure, some people actually call me Clara...Then again, some people call me Clarabelle Cow, Claire Bear, I-DeClaire, Clarence, Clarity of Vision, E-Clair, Clare de Lune, Clairvoyant, Clair-EEE, Clar...
( Often, when I was little, adults would see me and say, " Well, I DECLARE!" chuckling and glowing with pride over their cleverness, as if they were the first ones to utter this hilarious little play on my name. Actually, it still happens on occasion.)

My identity has been severely tested today.

12 comments:

Claire said...

And then- I forgot this part- we got an invitation in the mail from one of the neighbors to come to dinner...It was addressed to " Brian and Claire." Uh-HUH! So now, he's Brian and I guess I'm his teenaged bride, Clara. Okay.

asaphat said...

Mixing up names and underguessing ages...hmmm, "must be a southern thing." (I hope Mary visits this blog soon!)

Let's hear it for Claritin! (Is that one new?)

ljmax said...

Why, Eve?

Loreo said...

How Clare-tastic to be thought of as a teenage vandal!!

redsoxwinthisyear said...

I'm glad you clarified that part about your identify, because I wouldn't have guessed it if you hadn't said it.

DJ said...

Because Eve ate the apple first.

I don't know claire, moving down south seems to have really changed you two. Changing names and ages, what's next? If you start wearing little red fezz's and driving mini mopeds, well, I just don't know what I'll do[but something probably violent and illegal, lol...]

KW said...

Why though, Eve?

hesper48 said...

It may be hard to enjoy being thought "young" but try to relish the experience while it lasts! My own experience runs quite the opposite! When Kayla was very young I had a clerk in Bradlees ask me if I was a senior citizen! I got right huffy and informed her that I had a pre-schooler and was nowhere near to being one! Oh hoary head that I have! One time when I told another Bradlee's clerk what had happened, she said she could tell by my face that I wasn't a senior citizen! Thank you lady!

Kendra still gets asked if she's an adult, etc. She was very disgusted when Craig was taking courses in Indy years ago and people would ask her if he was her older brother! And there's nearly a 5 year gap between them. . .

Claire said...

Ryu, take note of the comma between "Why" and "Eve" on lj's comment. This means she is asking," WHY did you eat the apple, Eve?" This was a direct quote of a frequent complaint of mine in the days of yesteryear when I was annoyed at the fall of man...

:)

DJ said...

ahhh! now I understand :-)

Brent said...

Claire -

I'm pretty sure that the spray paint restriction has to do with the graffiti aspect - not the huffing. I'm not speaking from personal experience here or anything... but I think this is case.

(could you even huff spray paint? how might that work?)

Anyway - I know this is a random comment on a way old post, but I noticed it and felt compelled to say something. :-)

Maybe grover will need to make a "uses for spray paint" list. Hmmmm

- Brent

Claire said...

Brent- You're probably right about the graffiti not huffing thing. I'm actually not sure if huffing IS possible with spray paint...nor do I really WANT to know...but I wouldn't put it past the hooligans out there to somehow ingest it and make oneself high/sick/loopy etc...