I hate it when neighbors come to your door and your teeth are feeling thick and fruzzly with sugar after eating several pieces of candy. You feel like you can't really smile at them because you don't want them to be shocked and repulsed at your grody, coated teeth and you can't exactly be like, "Come back in five minutes after I've brushed my teeth!" And we only see or talk to these people for five minutes like once a month or once every two months, so it's like we're still on the "getting to know you" footing...where impressions are still being formed, even after a year of living nearby. And it seem like every time I encounter them, I get nervous, and so things don't flow...and then I get even more self-conscious. ARGH. Every time, it's SOMETHING - whether my hair is sticking out all funny or I'm wearing ratty clothes because I'm painting, or something. I know it shouldn't matter what they think of me, but for some reason, it does matter to me...at least a little bit. I feel like they will always think I am weird and inferior. And there is nothing I can do about it. It's not like I want to claim I'm NORMAL...because I KNOW I'm not and I'm okay with that. I just want everyone ELSE to be okay with that too. But whatever. "The fear of man is a snare" and all that. Man- all that because I didn't brush my teeth. I think too much, I think. "Neurotic" is the word I'm looking for here.
I watched a John Wayne movie the other night with Grandpa. John Wayne was playing a man who fights out of control oil well fires. I just have to say, perhaps he does a good job in other movies, but in this one he was The Cheesiest Actor EVER. In short, this was not a shining example of why he was so popular. As Brad would say, " He was phoning it in." It was entertainingly awful. He's like this squinting, grinning, wooden, giant, caricature of himself that can hardly get his lines out in a believable fashion. Bogus. Odd how big stars can get away with being mediocre more than regular people.
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Hey, I posted some better pics if you want to see them.
so, it DOES matter what people think. We all care what people think about us... I know, I know, it doesn't matter in an eternal sense. But it IS okay to care what people think... just remember what they're thinking is probably a lot better than what you're thinking they're thinking. Take for example how stupid I feel after I testify in church (almost every time)... How many of you think I sound stupid every time I testify? or even if you do, how many of you wish I would quit testifying? [dangerous questions] I tell myself that I never think OTHER people sound so ridiculous that they'd be better off sitting down and remaining silent. So probably OTHER people don't feel that way about me! So try it with your neighbors sometime. I mean you haven't even noticed how her hair was a bit askew the day you stopped and chatted because she was out raking leaves and you couldn't avoid it :)
Tanks, Happy Gurl :}
I'm the same way with my neighbors!! My neighborhood has these communal mailboxes, my street's happens to be at the end of our driveway. I tell mysef the chances of running into someone there are so slim as to be practically nonexistant in the 30 seconds it takes to get the mail, but I still have to change from my big, ugly sweatshirt to a presentable one, and put on some shoes I don't use just for wandering around the back yard with the dog. But it's always the time that I tell myself, "No one will be there, nevermind the ugly sweatshirt and that your hair looks napped on, just go get the mail," that I run into someone out there. And they always look like normal, put-together people! Not fair! :)
Sounds like the "Horns of Hattin" run in the family. :-) Guess who passed on that bit of family trivia when we, in fact, saw the Horns of Hattin. :-)
And I hope you know what I'm talking about or this looks like the silliest comment in the history of the world (but I don't care what other people think, so it doesn't really matter).
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