Wednesday, March 09, 2005

BOOOOOO-GUS! ( as the guys on CarTalk would say)

We were out getting some delectable Chinese food recently and at the end of the meal, we opened our fortune cookies...and here were the fortunes we received. Mine read, " You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home." Brad's read, " You are a person of culture." I thought that was so serendipitously charming that I had to share it with our waitress...who totally didn't get it because her English is apparently limited to numbers on the menu and, " Can I get you a drink?" or " Would you like soup or egg-roll with that?" And the embarrassing thing is that I sort of started to explain it to her..." I attract cultured and artistic people...he's cultured..."( imagine, here, my voice trailing off as I realize that it's futile...) and ended up feeling exceedingly foolish. Uh, yeah. So anyway, these two adorable fortunes were definitely worthy to be added to our collection of fortune cookie papers posted on our fridge. Here is a sampling of those bizarre 'prophecies': " It is a sunny day." WHAT? That is SUCH a risky fortune to write. It's pretty much 50/50 that you could be wrong. In fact, I think it was VERY overcast on the day I opened it. Someone was definitely counting the days to retirement as they wrote that one. Here is another one that we got - no joke. " It tastes sweet." WHAT? The cookie? Oh my WORD. How did THAT make it past quality control? Weak, weak. Another one: " A nice cake is waiting for you." Waiting to do WHAT to you? Oh, nice? Okay- but for the word 'nice' I would have pictured a sinister looking cake, lurking furtively in a dark alley...with some sort of nefarious design upon me. And then there is the one that says, " You would make a good lawyer." I can't remember if it was Brad or I who received that little gem of wisdom...It certainly couldn't have been ME. I can't imagine a worse lawyer than myself. I'm too out of shape to chase ambulances and arguing makes my head spin and puts me in a cranky mood. I think I could actually do quite well as a fortune cookie writer. I mean, I can certainly crank out stuff better than " It tastes sweet."

6 comments:

ljm said...

Hey Claire--
Have you ever got a really negative fortune cookie before? Recently, Keith handed me the fortune from his cookie and said, "Here, this one's for you--" It said--"Stiff in opinions, always in the wrong."!!! NICE.

Gimli said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hi guys,
I got a really nice fortune a few months ago: "If winter comes, can spring be far behind?"
--Pen

Anonymous said...

First time I've ever heard of a Byronic fortune cookie. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Claire!

I want to see the post that the author removed!
Thought you'd love that...

kk

Claire said...

KK- I think it got re-posted on another part of the site...