And I thought I had some close encounters with New Hampshire's fauna recently...This story trumps all. It did not happen to me, but to my co-worker, the famous Marci, who I have written about before on this blog.
The following took place last Friday, as I was gone on my mini-vacation. So I hope I am reporting this story at least semi-accurately. Marci, if you are reading this, feel free to comment and correct me if I'm off on some of the details. (You don't have to have your own blog to leave a comment on mine.)
Marci, the soul of compassion and friend of animals everywhere, ( her apartment, I hear tell, is a veritable menagerie, complete with a huge, domesticated pig, and a disembodied human hand in a jar...not that the hand can really be said to be part of the menagerie...but it is indicative of her intrinsic intrigue...but I digress...) Anyway...where was I? Oh yes, Marci, soul of c, friend of a's everywhere, was on her way to work when she chanced upon a 'listless' and very small fawn.
( Listless was the word Matt used as he recounted the tale to me with great glee.) And being the thoughtful and considerate person that she is, she took pity upon the poor, unfortunate beast...stopped her car...and picked it up. ( No, it was not hitchhiking.) I still don't know all the details. Did she invite it, with tender coaxing and promises of treats? Did she pursue it on foot and tackle it? This part is a mystery. However, she got the fawn into the back of her vehicle and continued on to work. ( This is the difference between Marci and me. I would never have stopped. Can you imagine me stopping to pick up animals I have encountered? The beavers? The turkeys? The bear? Of course not. That would be silly. But even if I saw a fawn, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't stop! I guess I'm just plain ol' heartless.) Anyway- the fawn spent the rest of the day in the car...she did come out and feed it, and I'm sure she left the window cracked or something. But when she called the N.H. wildlife people to see if they would take the young thing back into the wild, they said they wanted to test for rabies...and to do that, you have to kill the animal. UNTHINKABLE! Apparently, the way the N.H. Wildlife people understood the matter, Marci would return it to the wild. However, she tried other facilities, hoping to find someone who could rehabilitate the fawn before returning it to the wild... but no one would take the poor thing. And apparently, someone from one of the places she called RATTED ON HER to the N.H. Wildlife people. So we have had game wardens and the like calling the Shelter, and coming to the Shelter, trying to track Marci down. So far, she has avoided them. She thinks perhaps she will end up in jail. Or lose her job. She was telling us this the other day at lunch and I thought it was so absolutely bizarrely hilarious that I had to make all kinds of jokes and give her a hard time. "What are you in here for?"" Armed robbery, murder, assault...."" What are you in here for?" "Um...fawn-napping..." This is one I have thought of since, " Marci had a little fawn..." ( sung to the tune of "Mary had a little lamb...") I could go all sorts of places with this. But I'll restrain myself.
Oh- and the REST of the story is- the fawn died, and she took it back to the woods. I don't know if she buried it or had a funeral or what. I think there are more dimensions to the story that I have left out...such as the game warden people not knowing that the fawn is dead...and Marci wondering whether she should tell them...and stuff like that. Poor Marci. Eventually, I took in some of the seriousness of the situation and stopped giving her such a hard time. In a way, you just have to know her to appreciate the hilarity and also the pathos of this story. She is one of my most favorite people at the Shelter -- hilariously funny, bold, unabashedly loud, fun to sing with, a great, talented cook, caring and considerate, and someone you can really talk to. She was trying to do such a good deed...and it backfired on her.
I guess the moral of the story is, the next time you see a listless fawn by the side of the road, steel yourself, harden your heart and drive on. If you heed not this warning, there's no telling what may happen next.
Further bulletins as events warrant.