Monday, March 13, 2006

Monday Ruminations

I worked on an application today for a job that would involve working with children. They asked me to list my past experiences working with groups of children...Ayeyeyey! Do you have all day?

I was looking over my resume, which is a bit patchy because I don't list all the tiddlywink summer jobs I've ever had. This set me wondering, " What DID I DO the summer of 2002?" It took me a minute to remember that I was a nanny for three boys, aged 7, 11 and 13. I guess I'd successfully repressed that whole experience in the nether regions of my psyche.

I went looking through some of my past diaries to figure out when I was a counselor or subcounselor at Fairwood Youth Conventions. It was an interesting foray into the memories of my youthful summers. There is so much that I had forgotten about growing up. I think teenagers have heightened senses, in some ways. Everything is more intense- pain and happiness, confusion, insecurities, joys... Just reading a few pages brought back memories of conversations, emotions, reactions, desires, idealistic assumptions, attitudes, immature opinions....Wow, was that really me?

This experience -- plus other recent ruminations -- has prompted me to ponder the way I see other people. None of us are static beings, as much as it may seem that we are the same old, set-in-stone individuals we always have been. Growth is always taking place, no matter how slow and invisible. But so often I find that I have a snapshot judgment of somebody else, based on past assumption of who they are that limits them, or does not allow them the freedom to be who they really are... I wish I had the eyes of God, to see someone else's whole life as one long, beautiful continuum, to see the final culminating scene, the big picture, the sum...But because I do not have access to that kind of knowledge, I must simply trust that there is a great work in progress, much as I must trust that He who began a good work in ME will be faithful to complete it.

1 comment:

extreMEly said...

very nicely written your last paragraph there. To realize that everyone changes over time but when you don't see them too often, that impression that you have of them sticks around for awhile. Even though people change, I also realize that some people don't really change much either.

I also wanted to thank you for leaving me a comment on that one entry I talked about death. Thanks.