Sunday, June 26, 2005

Quoth the Ninja-Wife, " Nevermore."

I actually have nothing to say in this post- a rare phenomenon 'tis true- but I told Brad, upon hearing the above sentence come out of his mouth the other day, that I wanted to have that as a title on a blog entry. So here it is, in all of its weirdness. I love that he comes out with such strange things.

Actually, I DO have something to say. (You knew that I couldn't stay mute.) And strangely enough, I can relate it to the title. Except for the ninja part.

I was just talking to Brad and remembered something I wanted to blog about...We have this big white storage cabinet in our bedroom, which houses our linens, towels, games, books, and the myriad of my old diaries. The top of it is covered with various framed pictures, a big pile of my clothes, and...a growing blob of Brad's detritus. This collection of flotsam and jetsam used to accumulate on his dresser, but for some unknown reason, he has decided to keep the dresser clean and transfer this stuff to the cabinet. It's mostly a sprawl of coins, mixed with receipts, empty cough-drop wrappers, some tapes, a little battery...; basically, it's the regurgitation of his pockets. It started so subtly- a few pennies and dimes...and the next thing you know, it's taken over half the surface of the cabinet. ( Okay, not really half...but an alarmingly large amount.) There is a sister colony of the same kind of stuff on the little bookcase inside our front door. I think it's a uniquely male characteristic to leave little piles of loose change around. I remember Daddy had a little dish on his dresser where he used to keep such a stash- mostly coins but I'm sure there was the odd paperclip, rubber-band etc. I think it's time to get a piggy bank or a change jar. I think it's time for me to say, "Nevermore" to this virus of clutter.

It's not a character flaw or anything. Honestly, don't mistake this as a complaint. It's not a source of conflict - not something I've nagged him about. After all, I cannot claim to be a neat freak myself- I have my own issues with clutter and I have accepted that our house will never be Better Homes and Gardens material. Why should I hold him to a higher standard than I have for myself? It's something that suddenly dawned on me the other day- this change pile. Where did it spring from? I was talking to Brad about how I had just noticed it and he said he was wondering when I was going to take the tip he had left for me.

I just returned from counting out ALL the loose change from no less than three surfaces in our apartment and it totalled: $29.53 plus 26 Canadian cents. Wow. Nice tip, huh?


DJ said...

Rats. I was all psyched up to hear about Claire climbing walls and battling hordes of faceless opponents and wielding throwing stars and a katana. I was sadly disillusioned. Sniff, sniff, sniff...

Brad said...

As I like to say under my breath as a customer is leaving the store after I have diffused a particularly annoying customer service situation at work, get some real problems, lady. Or as Claire likes to say, the care bus is leaving and no one is on it.

KW said...

Hi Claire

Really funny blog topic. One day Lexie took loose coins lying
around and inserted them into the cd drive of our lap top!
Clever girl...luckily, Charlie was able to remove them by
shaking them free, and the hard drive was miraculously

ahappywife said...

I just have one li'l comment: "detritus" nice word.
okay so like claire I have more to say than I thought: brad, I loved the "get some real problems, lady" that just may come in handy some day, if my mind will only be willing to actually remember this perfect phrase and use it at the opportune moment

JBT2 said...

Great post! I feel so relived that I am not the only guy out there collecting change. We guys don’t carry around purses and so our pockets get filled with random bits and pieces of our day. I personally like to start each day with clean pockets, hence the pile on my desk.
(tip) I use my change to buy snacks on long trips.

Shay Dawg said...

Amen about homes never going to look like the homes in the magazines. I think i've been trying to hard for that, but I will never succeed. You should take all that change to the nearest, well here it would be Kash n'Karry, and you could get those coins transformed into bills through the magic money machine.

Shari said...

LOL! We have the same husband!! I even bought Brent a nice leather tray to contain all of his pocket regurgitation (love that!) but it's a hopeless battle. It's okay though . . . once in a while I go through it and clean out the change (I have to tell Brent about the tip thing) and throw away super old pieces of paper. I remember my dad having a drawer full of this kind of stuff and oh how I loved going through it. So maybe our future kids will enjoy going through Brent's pile too. :-) Great post!

fauxturtle said...

Ok, gonna admit it's not just a guy thing. In my room I can see three piles for detritus. I come home from work and dump my pockets on the coffee table or counter. straw wrappers, coin roll outsides, wadded reciepts, random change, all in a pile. However, I do eventually gather them all up once every week or two. I've tried basin like items to use as a pile in basket, but no hope. It used to be worse when I had a two bedroom house. There were probably half a dozen pile places. Now confined to half a dorm room there are just the two places. It does make a great emergency soda fund.